08-Nov-2009 18:05
Kia ora fellow Nutters, In-Denial-Nutters and Nosey-Wannabe-Nutters (not that we discriminate) and welcome to my 5 cents on the Nutter's Club Blog.
Q: What does yours truly have in common with Beethoven, Marilyn Monroe and John Lennon?
A: Apparently we all swing both ways. Not like that (minds out of the gutter please). What I mean is we all have a condition called Bipolar Disorder or Manic Depression. Its a relatively rare condition that affects about 1% of the population and is characterised by dramatic mood swings that allow us to feel both intense sadness, as well as intense joy. Like I said we go down but we also go up...
We are the sneaky buggers who are often highly intelligent and creative so it may be difficult to pick up on the symptoms. A lot of people have a hard time believing Im a nutter because on the outside I look just the same as I did before I was diagnosed a few months ago. I dress well, I speak well and I havent suddenly developed a drool or a hunchback. Until my first symptoms appeared, I had a successful career as a lawyer working for a top firm in Australia, loads of friends and plenty to look forward to. Then fate intervened.
Experiencing a manic episode is like being in a movie where you are the central character and strange things start to happen to you. My movie started when I found out I had what appeared to be psychic abilities. From there I began having a series of paranormal experiences, which spiralled out of control until I was talking to angels and running away from demons. No wonder us bipolar types are responsible for some of the worlds great imaginative works.
My diagnosis has turned my life upside down but Ive learnt to look for the silver lining that comes with the dark clouds. My silver lining is understanding myself on a level I never would have admitted existed, cleaning out bones from my closet that I would have taken to my grave, and wiping the slate clean so I can start my life again. Being told youre crazy is a drag for sure, but being unhealthy and in denial is much worse.
As a young Maori woman I understand my condition as being a spiritual affliction which has manifested through the mental illness rather than the other way around. I feel strongly that my tipuna brought me back home to deal with unresolved issues, and to help me find a higher purpose for my life other than making rich people richer. My task now is to continue on that path of self discovery and see where it leads me. Shes a scary road to go down for sure, but the one awesome thing us manic depressives do have is the audacity to attempt the impossible. I guess thats why so many of us end up being famous, sometimes we actually succeed at the impossible. Theres hope for me yet...
The Blogettes